day fifty-six.

i'm just so so happy.
and i needed to document it, because it's not often i feel this great.
i love my friends and my boyfriend and my family.
i love life right now.
i dont want this feeling to stop.

it's so fucking awesome, takes my mind off the fact that i have a test tomorrow, that i have a headache and aaah. i'm just so happy. this post is crappy but i dont even care!

;D

day fifty-five.

i'm more scared that he'll get bored of me than anything else...

day fifty-four.

it feels like i'm constantly wasting time.
like i don't have the energy, my willpower has shrunk to an insignificant speck of dust. and i hate it.
i want to feel interested in my work and hobbies. but i'm not.
and argh. ARGH. alangkndfglkndg.

day fifty-three.

i don't want to cry.
stop it.

day fifty-two.

never have i felt this way about anyone.
i cant even control it anymore.
and i'm so damn happy.
because you're mine and i'm yours.

you make me feel wonderful.

day fifty-one.

sometimes i think i have problems.
my moods can change so quickly.
and i don't know why.

sometimes its a good thing,
helps me overcome some obstacles and move on with life.

sometimes its worse,
you know you're the happiest you've ever been yet there's always something in your mind ruining it for you.

sometimes i feel like there's two of me.

and i have to satisfy both.

i want to kill one of them.
sometimes.

day fifty.

maybe its going too fast.
maybe you'll look back on this and think how immature it all was.
maybe not.
maybe this is it.
maybe this is the best thing that has ever happened to you.
maybe you should stop questioning it and cherish it.
maybe nothing lasts forever.

day forty-nine.

i need to sort this out.

i'm being stupid about this entire situation.

a levels are important, so you have to give a shit whether you want to or not.
so get your fucking shit together and motivate yourself. care. work. do it all. otherwise you'll regret it.

do you really want to be that person? a failure?
so sort yourself out. however you want to do it. just make sure you do it.

day forty-eight.

stop being a fucking idiot
why are you worried
why are you jealous


so fucking what he's talking to his ex
they're still friends
she's your friend, she wouldn't fuck it up for you


so why are you being so fucking stupid
get a grip

be fucking happy
for once in your life.

day forty-seven.

i'm so happy.

day forty-six.

i can't stop thinking about you.
you're constantly on my mind.


i wonder if you think of me as much as i think of you?

day forty-five.

i want your hand in mine. again.
i want to feel you stroke my skin. again.
i want to feel your eyes on me. again.
i want to savour that kiss.
that one kiss.
that soft, magical kiss.
i want it all again.
i want you.

day forty-four.

now you're mine.
all this insanity running through my veins; eliminated by the comforting thought that i actually have you.