day sixty-three.

you tickled me with the pure rarity of love. caught me in its embrace and swallowed me up. i can feel it rushing through the cracks in the tiles, and oozing through the slits of the closed doors and shut shutters. it seeps through everything and wraps its smoky claws around my waist, holding me.
those eyes so hard to read, deep and dark and empty. an abyss. so many secrets. but none. the waters of your iris rest upon mine and i am lost. safe in the wild embrace you lent me. don't ever let go, for i will break. i will shatter and scream and wail into the existence of nothing without you.
i need you to help me breathe, for my ribcage is crumpled. my lungs making room for the bulging force making its way through me, melting through my bones and occupying itself in my heart. my brain. my stomach.
coldness doesn't live here, there's no such thing as ice; except for the chilled blood in my fingers. moving slowly. congested like the traffic jam, where we sat on the backseat and the warmth of your smile reverberated throughout the enclosed space. resting on my shoulder and making a nest in the dips of my collar bones. you consumed me. and the beauty of it all is how wonderful it is.

day sixty-two.

ahhhh, happiness :3

day sixty-one.

it terrifies me that you might lose interest in me, that i'll get boring and you'll have more fun being with someone else.
and it's not because i don't trust you, but because that's the kind of person i've been led to believe i am. boring.
so i try so hard to keep your interest. and sometimes i believe it myself. it's not a lie. and i'm sorry if i seem over the top. but it's all in good reason, because if you lose interest, i lose you. and breaking my heart is something you said you wouldn't do.
if i had my way, i'd be with you forever.
and then i think about it; how nothing lasts forever, and think how its such bullshit. what's the point of living if you have that kind of perspective on life: nothing lasts forever. if you thought like that, then you wouldn't love anything, and without loving you're not living.
and i'm living for you.
and you are my life.
my love.

day sixty.

A: I don't know why you don't think you're beautiful.
B: It's because I'm not.
A: You are so beautiful.

day fifty-nine.

-Silence.

B: What? What are you thinking?
A: I.. really love you.
B: I love you too.

day fifty-eight.

everything's happenin' so fast.
literally.

time seems to zoom past me like a train, a train i want to catch but it forgets to stop, forgets to slow down so that i can jump on board.
if only i could catch this train, then i wouldn't be behind. i'd be on track and heading where i want to be going.
it's not like i'm unhappy, in fact i'm far from it. i've not been so happy in such a long time.
but time is getting ahead of me and the work is piling up. time is ticking. and i'm almost oblivious.

day fifty-seven.

he told me he loved me today
and not via text messaging or msn or skype
but to my face

he's just too cute
and i love him too

<3